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Asch: “The Grand Plan to Capture Jay Kidman!”
Oi, geezer! Stop fucking around!!
Jay: What's wrong, Asch? We're in the same room, so there's no need to be so loud.
Asch: Tch, what's loud is that stupid snoring of yours!
Night in and night out, it's the same damn noise no matter how many times I tell ya to knock it off! It’s driving me crazy!
Jay: Hm? Ahaha, I'm trying my best, y'know. It's just, it happens while I'm asleep, so I'm nearing my wit's end about what to do.
Ah, speaking of, I heard sleeping on your side can help, so I bought a body pillow!
Asch: Did ya try it?
Jay: Yep. I've been using it for two days now.
Asch: Well, it ain't working!
Sure, the snorin' may have gotten a little easier to deal with in the past few days, but I want it totally gone!
Jay: Y-You're asking for a lot, huh… I thought you'd let up as long as I snored less, but I guess not.
Asch: It bothers me, no matter how quiet it is!
Maybe you don't get it since it doesn't bother ya at all, but that's no skin off my back!
Jay: G-Got it… no snoring at all, right? Well, since we're living together I think I should try my best to be considerate.
I'll work on it, so just bear with me for now!
Asch: Hmph, I’ll be holdin’ you to that.
Jay: Haha, it's a promise!
Oh, would you look at the time! I should get on my way to Victor's lab.
Asch: Why? Are ya gonna have him make a machine that'll stop your snorin'? Glad to see someone's motivated.
Jay: No, that's not it… Remember the hedgehog havoc from a few days ago?
Y'know, when Victor's transporter malfunctioned, and the Commander switched bodies with a test hedgehog.
Asch: Ah, that dumbass incident.
Jay: They ended up deciding to dismantle it to prevent any more incidents, but it's pretty heavy, so they asked me to help take it apart.
Asch: What a waste. Make them turn ya into a hedgehog before that.
Jay: Huh?
Asch: Hedgehogs are apparently super sensitive, and since the concept of delicacy seems to utterly escape you, spendin' some time in a hedgehog's shoes might do ya some good.
Jay: H-Haha, oh, Asch! You can be so silly sometimes!
Asch: W-What are you laughin' at? I ain't joking around, bastard!
Jay: Haha, excuse me! I'm not sure about turning into a hedgehog, but while I'm there, I'll ask for some pointers on preventing snoring.
Asch seems to be as sensitive as a hedgehog, after all.
Asch: Hah?! Y-You fucker… don't compare me to a hedgeho—
Jay: See you later!
Asch: Oi, hold up!
That bastard, saying that shit straight to my face… maybe he really should become a hedgehog!
───
Oscar: Alexander… Alexander!
Just where did he run off to…
Akira: Hey, Alexander! Where the hell are you?! Say something!
Will: I-I don't think Alexander-kun could reply even if he wanted to…
Akira: No, he totally can. He's a genius hedgehog, after all!
Will: Where'd you get that idea from…
Brad: I gave the shower room a thorough search, but I couldn't find him.
Oscar: He doesn't seem to be in the living room either, Brad-sama, nor in the rookies' room…
Brad: Mm… so he escaped outside the room again, huh.
Akira: Woah, he did it again?! I'd expect nothing less from the genius hedgehog I acknowledged!
Will: Akira!
Oscar: He did it again…
I cannot apologize enough, Brad-sama. For him to escape this many times, my watch on him must not have been stringent enough…
Brad: Don’t be so hard on yourself. Let's just focus on finding him for now. Let's get going before the situation gets out of control.
Oscar: Yessir!
Alexander! Whe—
Asch: Oscar?
Oscar: Asch? What are you doing her—
A-Alexander?!
Brad: What's wrong, Oscar?
Oscar: Ah, Brad-sama, um… I would say we found Alexander, but it seems more like Asch brought him to us instead…
Asch: Huh? The hell do you mean “Alexander”, this is Jay.
Oscar & Brad: Huh?
Akira: Wait a sec, Asch, what the hell are you sayin’? How is that Jay?
Asch: Hah? Watch your tone, brat. You making fun of me?
This hedgehog is Jay. I'm saying it is, so that's final!
Akira: Hm… Yeah, I don't got a clue what you're talking about.
How the hell is that hedgehog Jay?
Asch: *sigh* Don'tcha guys remember when Victor's machine turned the Commander into a hedgehog? That happened again.
C'mon, you following me yet?
Will: W-Well, that did happen…
But I’m kind of pretty sure that that hedgehog has got to be Alexander-kun…
Asch: Hah?! You're goin' against me too?
Tch, all of you are so…
Oscar: Hey, Asch—
Brad: But on what basis do you think that hamster is Jay?
Asch: He reacted when I was calling for the old geezer. That's proof enough.
Brad: H-Hm…
Oscar: Asch… I still think it's impossible for him to be…
Akira: Wouldn't it be obvious if we just give 'im some donuts? If he really is Jay, he'd get excited and jump right at them!
Asch: If that's what it takes to convince you, then fine.
You, go get us a buncha donuts.
Akira: Huh, I gotta buy them?!
Asch: I don't give a shit who buys them, so hurry up and—
OUCH! THIS FUCKER…! You did not just scratch my hand…
Akira: Woah, he ran away!
Oscar: Alexander!
Will: Woah?!
Akira: Ooo, he totally ignored Oscar and made a break for Will! That means…
He's gotta be Alexander!
Asch: Wha?!
Will: Hehe, c'mere, Alexander-kun!
Haha, you shouldn't worry Oscar-san so much, okay?
Oscar: *sigh* Thank god we found him…
Asch: Wait! That has to be the old geezer!
I mean, I said all that to him…
Jay: Oh, you guys seem excited! What are you all up to, South?
—Asch?
Asch: Geezer?!
Jay: It's not every day you see Asch hanging out with the members of South…
Asch: Wh… wha… ah… GAH!
Oscar: Asch!
Brad: Just leave him be for now, Oscar…
Oscar: Y-Yessir…
Jay: Huh… What on Earth happened?
Akira: See, we told him it was Alexander!
Will: Ah… hahaha…
Alexander-kun seems totally unfazed…
Akira: Just what you'd expect from a genius hedgehog! He's got guts of steel!
